Friends Lost, Friends Found.

I wanted to write a bit about something that few mention when it comes to moving abroad: the lost and found friendships. Many tend to focus only on the positive aspects of moving abroad, finding new friends, having amazing experiences and so on. But how about the ones you leave behind? I have noticed that when you move abroad, you see who are worth keeping in touch with and who are not. They might be fewer than you think.

I've discussed this with a friend I met here, who shares the same experience. The truth is (how depressive it may sound) that people will say "oh how nice, you're moving abroad! I'm sooo going to visit you all the time!", but then you move, and maybe half of the people who said they would visit you actually do it. Also, you will notice in the beginning of your new life abroad that everyone is very interested in how you are doing. But - and remember this - it is the people that after 7-8 months of living abroad still care about you and sincerely ask how you are that are the friends worth keeping. So you might find that people are not as close to you as you thought.This is necessarily not a bad thing, however. I am of the opinion that it is better to have a few, close friends, than to have many superficial ones.

I don't have many close friends in Sweden. Actually, I'd say I have one best friend. A bff if you will. Since I moved abroad, we have despite the circumstances actually become closer. What I mean is that when you expose your relationships with an obstacle like that, then the true friendships reveal themselves.

"A friend is one who knows everything about you, and loves you just the same"

- Elbert Hubbard

And how about the people you meet in your new country? I've also discussed this with my friend here in The Hague, and I think that you tend to "click" easier with the new people you meet abroad. Despite the cultural differences, there is still something that you all have in common: you are all people who strive for something more. Every single international person you meet when you are abroad, all share that same characteristic. You all want to see the world. Experience something new.

Of course, another thing that connects you is the fact that you have all gone through the same experiences of moving to another country. Most of the people here have left their families and friends behind, and they kind of become your new family. As my friend here in The Hague, who has also experienced how friends fall out of her life. She knows how it is. They all know how it is. Because we've all experienced it, and that glues us together.

So don't be scared of moving abroad. You will not lose all your friends. It will help you make clear who your real friends are, and also introduce you to new ones. Friends who share your interests and values.


Sounds good, doesn't it?